Getting it right means getting it from GOD!
Marriage is an institution that was established by GOD. For the LORD God said in Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. Like educational institutions, marriage is an avenue for continuous learning for both parties/partners involved. However, unlike other institutions where one could enter and graduate (or exit) at will, as instituted in the Bible, there is no exit from a Christian marriage and that is the reason for one to ensure that he or she absolutely “gets it right”. Ephesians 5:31 says
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).
Why do you really need to get it right?
To answer this question, let us consider this joke from one lady. She was trying to distinguish between the two English words “finish” and “complete”. She said many people think the two words are the same but do not understand that in marriage, they are very different words and in fact, they are opposites. She illustrated further that: “if you marry the right spouse (i.e got it right) then you are “complete” However, if you marry the wrong spouse (i.e got it wrong) then, you are “finished”!
Since the Scripture does not support divorce, it is therefore essential that a Christian gets their life partners rightly. Our Lord and Saviour – Jesus Christ put this verdict in Matthew 19:5-6 (also Mark 10:9) that:
” For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”
How can one really get it right?
For any intending single to get it right, he or she needs to seek the face of GOD (his creator) in selecting his or her life spouse (Psalm 27:8). Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight”. For any man or woman, it is understood there exist one and only one spouse destined for such an individual. Therefore, it takes the grace of God to understand and find who that an individual is. Man or woman could choose wrongly, possibly based on earthly physical attributes, etc. After the fall of Saul, had GOD allowed Samuel to use his own personal knowledge to choose a King for Israel, he (Samuel) would have chosen wrongly and would certainly not have chosen the small boy (David) whom the Lord had destined for the throne of Israel. 1 Samuel 16:7 says
“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Also, Isaiah 55:8-9 also has something to say regarding human state of heart in making the right decision (i.e getting it right) and it says “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts”. Proverbs 14:12 buttresses these further “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death”.
Therefore, “to get it right” is to get it absolutely through GOD (Genesis 2:18). This doesn’t mean that GOD will make another Eve or Adam for you directly from the clay/dust (as he did in the Garden of Eden) but rather that you will need to allow GOD to direct and guide your heart in making the most important decision of your life. Proverbs 3:6 says
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths”, (please also read Exodus 33:15-16).
Steps to get it right
There are many ways to seek the face of God in everything we do and very few of these are as highlighted below. However, the most important thing is for you to understand how GOD speaks to you personally which also ultimately depends on your relationship with HIM. You also need to be able to distinguish the Voice of the Lord from your own voice or any other voice of the flesh.
- By Prayers: One could seek the face of GOD through prayers and fasting. Jesus Christ said in Mark 9:29 “This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting”. HE said further in Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”
- Seeking Advice from Trusted Men of GOD: One could also see for advice from trusted prophets of GOD to verify what you believe GOD has revealed unto you personally. Proverbs 15:22 says “without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established”. Proverbs 29:18 also says “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (also Hosea 4:6).
- Meditating in the Words of GOD (i.e the Bible): Whatever you have got from 1 and/or 2 above needs to conform to the standards that GOD has set in the Scriptures. Any revelation and/or advice that is against the word of GOD is definitely not from GOD and may be leading towards getting it wrong. 2 Timothy 3:16 says “all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”. Also, Joshua 1:8 says “this book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success“
Workable Case Study: Isaac and Rebecca (Genesis 24:1-67)
For a workable case study on how GOD has guided in the past (and still ready to guide today) to ensure that HIS children get it right in choosing their spouses, please read the story of how Isaac found Rebecca in Genesis 24:1-67.
In conclusion, to get it right means to be led by GOD in choosing one’s spouse. The Bible says concerning marriage in Proverbs 18:22 that “Whoso findeth a wife (or husband) findeth “a good thing”, and obtaineth favour of the Lord“. However, regarding finding “the good thing” the Bible further says in James 1:17 that “ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning”. Finally, the book of John 3:27 says: “John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven“.
I pray that as you look forward to make your own choice and make the most important decision of your life, I pray that the Lord God Almighty will guide your heart and lead you to ultimately “get it right”
Written by Dr Festus Oluseyi Oderanti