This blog is for those who are well acquainted with the feeling of not being enough. It may not be something that you feel all day, every day, although it certainly could be. Instead it might be something that comes up occasionally, at the worst times. Maybe it shows up when you fail a task at work, your kid screams at you, or you get into an argument with your significant other. Regardless, when it comes up, it hurts. The more often it rises to the surface, the more painful it becomes.
Pain, Pain, and more Pain
This feeling of not being enough has many different versions of itself. “I’m a failure”, “I’m worthless”, “I’m boring and uninteresting”, and “I am unlovable” are just a few. Usually you respond in two different ways when you believe this.
One way is to lash out at others in anger when they say something that appears to be even slightly offensive. Whenever someone says something offensive, or what even slightly resembles it, you immediately resort to anger. Anger is sometimes called a secondary emotion meaning it serves to protect you from more painful feelings and situations. Sometimes that painful feeling could be rooted in the belief that you are a failure or unlovable.
Another way is to agree with people when they insult you or criticize what you do. You believe that what they are saying must be right, because who are you to say otherwise? They must see what you see in yourself.
Living this way can be a huge struggle. Feeling like you are not enough, or that you are a failure, is taxing. Everything that you do can be tainted with it.
Love, Love, and more Love
Here’s the deal. You are loved and worth more than you could ever imagine. I know that it can be difficult to believe, but it’s true. God has made it clear that we are creatures that he adores and values. In Psalm 139 David says, “How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand..” Another way of saying that is “How amazing are your thoughts concerning me”. He has a lot of thoughts about you and they are amazing. His thoughts about you are precious because, as David says:
“you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
He began to knit you together from the time you were a fertilized egg until now. The amount of time and thought and love that went into creating you is incredible. He knew what he was doing when he formed you. He created you and His works are wonderful! You aren’t a mistake or defected. You were made with time and care.
You will make mistakes and have shortcomings because sin is in the equation. When those mistakes or shortcomings come to the surface, it will be difficult to not identify with them. Doing poorly at work, failing classes at school, messing up as a parent, feeling like a bad wife or husband, or fill in the blank, does not make you worthless or unlovable. God sees your mistakes and loves you anyway. He places your shortcomings underneath the sacrifice of Christ. Your unrighteousness has been replaced with Christ’s righteousness. Your defects have been replaced with Christ’s perfection. Your bad habits have been replaced with Christ’s perfect act.
You have the chance to live in the freedom of this. You can choose to lean into this belief and truth that Christ has covered your imperfections. There is grace where there is failure. He chooses to love you despite your imperfections. Not only does he choose to love you, but he looks at you as fearfully and wonderfully made!