The main purpose of this article is to encourage you to achieve God’s will whilst you are single, which should continue into your marriage.
Let us consider three scenarios, you are at a bus stop expecting the bus to arrive, there are no timetable or a set time for the bus arrival. The bus has the groom/bride on board.
Scenario 1: Busy doing God’s will and alert for the bus
At the bus stop, this person keeps herself busy, check her Facebook, make phone calls to friends and do something constructive. However, she is also looking in the horizon for the bus using her eyes and her ears while she is busy doing something.
Pros and Cons
If you’re solely using your ears, you might realise a bit too late when the bus is really close to you. If you’re on a lookout using your eyes, you will probably see the bus coming, wave it down and board the bus. This scenario offers a balanced approach of looking out while still getting your work done. I think the right cause of action should be when the bus is approaching, we should devote our eyes and ears, the more we devote our senses, the earlier and clearer we will be able to discern/see the bus number and conclude if it is the right or wrong bus for us based on the bus Number and destination.
Scenario 2: Only waiting for the bus
This person chose to do nothing at the bus stop but wait, always looking out and earnestly expecting the bus, she examine each bus number that goes past until she sees the bus going to her destination and confirms the bus by its number and display board. This method may seems like the best option because it guarantees she will not miss the bus because she is solely focused boarding the bus.
Pros and Cons
We must not forget that there are no timetables for the bus arrival, the bus might be delayed or might be running later than expected. This person will probably encounter a lot of false hope (heartbreak/breakdowns) because they will get their hopes up every time they see a bus from far away with similar physical appearance to the bus they are hoping for.
A flaw with this scenario is the person waiting will probably get bored quickly and give up (lose interest in seeking a spouse), try other form of transport which might take longer, get on the wrong bus intentionally because they have had enough, get into relationship with unbelievers, fall asleep or go home.
I must admit this has happened to me before, I was bored for few months. My friends moved away and I had too much time on my hands. I almost went out with a lady even though after I got to know her, I knew she was not God’s plan for me. I thank God we didn’t!
Scenario 3: Busy with no attention for the Bus
This person keeps themselves busy with work, church activities, volunteering etc and hopes that one day, they will be at the bus stop, at the right time to meet the bus. This person might even be in their house and hopes that one day the bus will stop by their house with the groom on it.
Pros and Cons
The chances of this person meeting their future groom/bride is slim because the bus will probably not come to their house and even if it did, they will probably not realise the bus is outside.
On the other hand, this do happen because we are people of faith, God will not bring the bus stop to your house. However, God sometimes arrange events for us to get to the bus stop at the right time, Mostly God sends us to do something for him without prior information that we will meet our future spouse their. That is divine appointment because we will get to the bus stop at the right time without knowing but it requires us to listen and take action promptly.
“And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
A person dear to me met his wife like that, he was housesharing with different people he hardly met because he travels away on weekends for church and fellowship and works Monday to Friday. One day he was praying in his room and God told him to go downstairs and deliver a message to a lady, She was moving out of the house the same day and was waiting for the late van driver to come and take the last lot! After she left, God told him the woman will be his future wife. These occasions are rare because a lot of us Christians are not in tune with the Holy Spirit most times or we do not act at the opportune time. Even if we are in tune with Holy Spirit, it is only by grace and God deals with people differently. When God gives us a message for people or sends us we must act promptly to do it within the opportune time.
In our day to day lives, most people tend to use scenario 1 while expecting the bus because they are bored. However, I will advise you to consider scenario 1 and scenario 3 which involves faith and action, continue in your calling while being on a look out or searching for a man/lady to get married to (1 Corinthians 7:17-24)
Make yourself available to meet new Christians and make new friends through fellowship, churches and GetitRight events. Friendship can develop into a relationship, when you are friends with someone you see as potential spouse, spend less time on other things and devote more time and resources to the friendship. Remember you need to confirm the number is right before boarding! Even if you are fully convinced before you get to know them or someone prophesied and told you they are God’s will for you, you still need to prove them to confirm. “And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2)
Most Christians I know expect scenario 3 and a lot of pastor/priest/vicar will probably advice or preach this route to you. This is good but requires the person to be developed spiritually to hear God or have spiritual things superimposed on their natural sense through vision which not all Christians have reach that stage. Every Christian should aspire to be developed spiritually to hear God daily. However, being intimate with God does not guarantee us that God will tell or show us our future spouse.
Even if you are matured spiritually, God still gave man the ability to find his wife and God created woman with the ability to hint to the man or make herself stand out. Don’t stand out by cooking for him when the bus is still far away or spending time with him alone! (Proverb 18:32)
During searching or hinting for men or woman, there may be heartbreaks but we must be wise and discerning to avoid this or keep to a minimum. Both parties play a major role in meeting each other and deciding a relationship, I believe a man should lead this but it will be helpful for the woman to be supportive and make herself available.